Victimland is not a real place, nor is it a necessity in our adult lives, in fact it is a hindrance to our growth and our happiness. However in seeking a positive note, victimhood in individuals shows that healing is required.
In today’s busy world, there are an increasing number of people who are coming forward admitting to having a negative image of themselves – low self-esteem. It is THE secret disease (dis-ease) of society, it is common and unless dealt with, can be seriously disabling.
From the perspective of a victim, the common thread of victim consciousness is that the “sufferer” has had something happen to them – that something or somebody did something and it makes the “victim” feel bad.
In today’s modern thinking where we take responsibility for ourselves, where we are empowered; victimhood is extremely disempowering because it means that the sufferer or victim has no power – “it is not my fault” - it happened to them and there is someone to blame. ….. worryingly this is also encouraging the blame culture, but perhaps more importantly to a persons Wellbeing, it is energetically a denial of responsibility.
Victim consciousness and blame, as a form of disempowerment is about not taking responsibility for the victim’s contribution to the event that occurred. These feelings are found in people with fractured self esteem – but don’t worry, that just about includes the majority of us! If this irks a little as you read this, remember that emotional discomfort is an indication that something within you has to be dealt with in order for you to be a happier and more fulfilled person.
The underlying problem with victim consciousness is that we have become familiar with these feelings. We become comfortable with the hurt, which is why it known as “familiar pain”. In fact, our protestations and denials of victimhood (when we feel ok) are fairly indicative that we are so familiar and comfortable with these feelings that it is a strong signal that we are actually addicted to them.
Familiarity creates comfort and also a habit, however bad or negative it becomes - it is a place of comfort.
Without that feeling of victimhood and associated pain our core negative belief system feels empty and attracts the situation / a person into our life that will recreate the feeling. Like a pied piper, the tune will play and we will subconsciously enact the dance to attract and bring about a situation to validate and re-enforce the feelings that we are, indeed victims. This is how behavioural patterns are established.
The Battle Lines Are Drawn
Battling victim consciousness requires you to step back for a moment and avoid being drawn into the drama of victimhood. Victim land is only a creation of our own familiar place and is a place created many years ago in childhood. Basically, I am asking you to not judge yourself as there is nothing wrong, but just to carry on reading……
Victimland exists in our subconscious; it is a place that we created when we were growing up at a time when we were egocentric – that the world revolved us. And because the world revolved around us, we became responsible for everything in our lives….
Thus we took responsibility on a subconscious level for every negative that occurred in our field of influence; our parents arguing, separating, divorcing… the list is quite endless, and can include death of someone we knew. The consequences of taking on this burden were that it validated our negative self worth, and fundamentally re-enforced the core limiting belief of; “I am not enough”. I call this the “Not Good Factor” or “NGE”.
(Ironically, as adults we have to relearn that as creators of our life, we have infinite control of our life – a bit like being egocentric again – but this time around with heartcentered awareness – hopefully!)
Psychology as a profession is aware of our core negative and limiting beliefs but on an energetic level, the profession may not quite be so aware of the enormous impact the NGE energy factor has on an individual.
Unless dealt with the NGE will attract situations and people throughout life that will validate our negative feeling of self worth. Whether you believe in the Laws of Attraction or not, what goes around – comes around.
The NGE factor and its energetic legacy is why we find ourselves in victim consciousness and why we play out patterns in our life that validate our negative worth.
A New Perspective - Clarity
So now as an adult we can see this victimland for what it truly is; a subconscious throwback to our early formative years - a “virus” in our own programming system. No fault – no blame – it is just the way it is.
So you need to remember when things are tough and those old thought patterns surface, they are not yours but your old programming; The feelings may seem real, but victim consciousness is only the grooves of a worn out record that have been buried deep in our subconscious playing an old out of date tune, to draw us in to a childhood drama, a nursery rhyme from our past.
Even if you do not believe in energy or the Laws of Attraction, when familiar situations occur that remind us of our past, they will triggers our NGE and the “tune” plays, and we dance helplessly to the rhythm of the past.
In effect we act out our childhood drama in our adult body!
I look forward to working with you here in Finsbury Park